moral
CONFESSIONS OF A PAINTED WIFE…..(My Personal Testimony)
Confessions of a Painted Wife
So here goes it all.
When I first married my husband I knew he didnt like makeup on
women, he just thought it was ugly, but I just thought it wasnt
a big deal. But for his sake I wanted to be whatever it was
that he thought was pretty,so the makeup was denied. Well not
all of the time…..a few times we would be going places I would
stick some light makeup on and then try to avoid eye contact with
him in hopes he wouldn’t notice. Its funny, I think he has eyes
like a magnifying glass. He noticed! Then said “ugh, that’s so
ugly honey, can you please take it off. You look beautiful without it”.
My plans didn’t work and the chemical clay was washed down the drain.
He wasn’t being mean, he truly just did not find that an
attractive part on a woman. I could sympathize with his view.
I didn’t like putting the make-up on but most people expect
that you look good for everyone around you.
Well then there has been 2 weddings in our 3 years of marriage
that we attended. Each time they came around,my husband was
able to sympathize with my strong desire to fit in and be
accepted by people we hadn’t seen for 2 years. (Also, having in-
laws who constantly remind you that you should wear or do this
or that doesn’t help).
Now these were the only instances in my marriage where I willfully
chose to wear makeup. I had agreed to not wear it and really
started to learn a lot about myself.
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Here is what I found in my ‘make-up-less’ journey:
1) “Looking good for everyone else mentality”
A common theme in many of these books is to look your prettiest at all times, especially in public or for company.
In fact in one book on femininity (from a popular christian writer) it was stated that “if you didn’t start looking your best all the time (even for everybody, not just your husband) you can bet there will be somebody in line waiting to steal the attention of your husband”. SHOCKING!!!! The one person I need to look the most attractive for is my husband alone, no one else. In Scripture, there is a case where Vashti was commanded to be brought forth before the king so that all the men could stare at her beauty. When she refused she was put away (de-throned). My question is why are these authors requesting women to do something that is more akin to the wicked, pagan, king Ahasuerus? Is this who we want to follow after?
IF it were true that if I didn’t wear makeup that I would have to fear my husband being stolen away from me by the closest woman around with makeup on, that would be disturbing. It would imply that my husband doesn’t love me for my being and heart, but only if I look pretty. That’s a foundation that won’t last and to be honest that is a high expectation of you. (why do women have to do all this to themselves and not guys! – Just kidding, nobody should have to do so) In Proverbs it talks about such a man who has no discretion and who is an utter fool, he is led away by a whore. I know for a fact, that IF you married a Godly man, you need not fear such silliness. Furthermore IF this were true that you had to wear make-up in order to keep women away from your husband, then, why is there so much divorce and adultery in Hollywood when these women do everything they can to appear beautiful yet their husbands still leave them?
2) “Deceptive Mentality” When I gave you my testimony above,its been humbling to lay that before others. Now I’m embarrassed that I would allow a tube of chemicals to come between me and my husband. Shows how stuck in vanity I was. I feel like I was acting more like Jezebel (someone who deceived). I had the spirit more of the serpent in the garden. If you have to deceive someone, you already know its wrong. Besides I would rather be known by good fruit than be known to be deceptive. Its amazing how much control vanity can have a hold on you,and you not even realize it.
3) “Not Accepting Yourself Mentality” This is the pivot-point for me in all of this. I equated beauty and the way I looked with my self worth. I grew up watching movies and reading magazines, so I had very limited knowledge of what a woman should be outside of being beautiful and sensual. I thought I was ugly and fat all of the time. I would starve myself and live off of coffee all day just to stave off hunger. I needed to turn the TV off and take a stand. That if you are a woman, you are already beautiful for you, but more importantly you are beautiful because you follow God, you seek to be kind and generous, you are forgiving, selfless—they sure don’t teach you that in Hollywood or school do they? Who you are on the inside NEVER gets old, but the outer body gets old and wrinkly. Don’t run your life thinking that as long as I keep putting these creams, moisturizers, etc.. on, then I will be loved. If you don’t believe me, that our makeup is tied to our identity (self-worth), then try not wearing makeup for a week and go out in public as usual. Look at this as a challenge. Also, if you are a Christian, recognize that the proverbs 31 woman is never praised for her outer beauty (in fact it was never even mentioned) but rather who she is on the inside as well as how diligent and kind she is.
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***I encourage you to look up the origins of lipstick, mascara, and make-up on Wikipedia for starters.
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Now on to Scripture:
Proverbs 31:30,”Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Proverbs 6:24-29,”To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take
thee with her eyelids.For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.Can a man take fire in
his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her
shall not be innocent.”
Isaiah 3:16,” Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with
stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet”
Jeremiah 4:30,”And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold,
though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life.”
”
Ezekial 23:40,”And furthermore, that ye have sent for men to come from far, unto whom a messenger was sent;
and, lo, they came: for whom thou didst wash thyself, paintedst thy eyes, and deckedst thyself with ornaments”
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Suppose you are one of those Christians who have been affected (infected?) with a tendency of dispenstationalism (that those old testament verses I just gave you are of no effect because you may believe we only live by the New Testament today). Well I would ask you to consider what I am about to say then.
When the Bible refers to Christian women in the New Testament, it says women should be adorned with something, but its not talking about makeup, jewelry or anything else vain.
1 Timothy 2:9-10,”In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”
1 Peter 4:1-5,
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.”
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As my conclusion I have a question for you Oh Daughters of God. The Bible is clear on what Godly (Christian) women SHOULD be doing, why then are we doing things that God has said not to do? Why are we doing things that are more akin to what the Bible would describe as what non-Christian women do? Do we spend as much time trying to create the above characters/fruits in our lives more than our makeup, I don’t think so. Again,I reiterate, why are we doing things that aren’t commanded and yet paying no heed to the things God HAS commanded for you as a Christian woman? May God continue to grow you in
His grace and bless you as you search the Scriptures.
Also I know this is a journey, its very out of our culture to do this. I struggled with it and even failed at times. I don’t want this to come across as me pushing this on you either. I only ask that you would have a open heart and consider what has
been written here. This is my story, but we ALL have a journey to go on.
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